Weekly Newsletter

and a Mercury RX tarot deal for you!

Hey Ya’ll. Welcome to a collection of thoughts, recommendations, playlists and poems all by me for you. Every week this free newsletter emerges every Mercury Day into your mailbox. I will offer exclusive deals on readings and other services as well for subscribers periodically. I love hearing from you, so drop me a line and share my work if you enjoy it!

Today’s newsletter is a little late cuz the RX is kicking my ass. This will be a little mini series so I hope you enjoy it!

Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived. You may have heard this tragic little phrase before. It’s a handy way to remember who the hell the Tudor wives were…and what asshole (Henry the VIII) did them ALL wrong. Because men.

I’ve always been into the Tudor era. I devoured every single historical fiction novel I could get my hands on. There’s a theory floating around the spiritual communities that the historical periods you are most drawn to may indicate the time period you lived a past life! It’s certainly fun to think about.

So what was Henry VIII’s DEAL anyway? Upset his first wife couldn’t give him a son (so he thought) protecting his legacy was his main priority. The Tudor line was considered precarious because they hadn’t held power for very long. *see the War of the Roses which is the most GOTH name for a fight in my opinion

King Henry’s other hobbies included fucking any poor woman that moved, eating literal mountains of food and throwing temper tantrums and mood swings on his subjects every moment of the day. The man’s chart is an actual nightmare:

Cancer Sun, Aries Moon, Leo MARS, Gemini Mercury (he changed his whims constantly to the detriment of his wives) and had a Virgo Rising/Venus so nitpicky as well. It’s not a cute combo lets just say that.

The Tudor Rose

Let’s briefly go through each of the 6 wives. I’ll be discussing their life story, energy and personality by Tarot Cards that I find applicable. Put on Greensleeves (the only bop of Henry’s that slaps) have some mulled wine and cheese or whatever guilty pleasure you fancy and read on!

WIFE #1: Queen Catherine of Aragon, Mother of Bloody Mary I

Queen Catherine of Aragon’s story is quite wild. Daughter of Isabella I of Castile and Ferdinand II of Aragon, she was married FIRST to Henry’s older brother Arthur, the original heir to the Tudor throne for an alliance between Spain and England (insert “ALLY” sound from Tik tok). The marriage was considered very powerful due to the fact that both countries were Catholic and covered a lot of ground and both enemies of the French at the time.

Arthur dies five months later so Catherine is married again to a young Henry. Catherine was more mature, an essential guiding force for Henry in how to carry out royal duties. She held position of ambassador of the Aragonese crown to England in 1507, the first known female ambassador in European history.[1]

Catherine is absolutely the Queen of Pentacles. She’s even a Capricorn! Devoutly religious, popular for her piety, dignity and wisdom, she commanded authority. Even her enemies begrudgingly respected her and she had many. Catherine sadly gave birth to several stillborn children, survived only by Mary the I, known as Bloody Mary for her horrific executions of Protestant English. Because of this, Henry began dalliances elsewhere. Eventually, this leads him to forcibly remove Catherine via divorce citing that he married his brother’s widow which is against the Bible. The Pope, Spaniards and English all opposed this since divorce in the Catholic church was considered a sin. Henry, as monarch was considered head of the Church of England cannot be sinning on a global scale!! Catherine shot back that she and Arthur never consummated the marriage so therefore, she was still a virgin with Henry. There wasn’t any proof either way, but Henry in an unprecedented move tore the rug out from under her. The Wheel of Fortune played a hand.

Wife #2: Queen Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn was an English noblewoman from a politically ambitious family. Her older sister Mary (what IS it with the sibling shit in the Tudor family), was Henry’s mistress. Anne, coming back stylish and mysterious from the French court after several failed betrothals witnessed how quickly Henry lost interest in Mary. Henry’s eyes turned to her instead. Anne was brilliant and strategic. She knew in order to have control and security of herself and any future children with Henry, she had to play the long game. There’s nothing a fiery emotional man loves more than delayed sexual gratification.

Anne amped the suspense by throwing them in a limbo that rivals the Hanged Man card. She refused to be his mistress, stating she would only give herself to him if he made her Queen of England. THEN, she could give him legitimate sons that Catherine could not. When the Pope vetoed Henry’s attempts he did the unthinkable at the time: left the Catholic church and declared himself the Head of the Protestant Church of England, a growing sector that Anne was a part of and pushed. Anne was cunning, a free spirit and modern thinker, sensual and decisive. Spain as well as Catherines English supporters were outraged at Henry’s decision. Almost as soon as Anne was crowned, she bore a stillborn son. A daughter named Elizabeth followed. As usual, Henry sought comfort elsewhere and Anne’s family fell out of favor.

Another English noble family called the Seymours took the opportunity to push their daughter Jane forward to the Kings eye. Jane was pious, plain and sickly according to the history books and supposedly Henry found this attractive since Anne was so “demanding.”

Anne is considered the most controversial because once Henry bedded Jane his noblemen and the peasants who preferred Catherine loved to spread rumours that Anne was a witch due to the fact she had part of a sixth finger and a mole on her neck. Anne had popularized French sleeves in the English court to hide her hand and wore a silk band around her neck to cover the mole. We don’t have proof that Anne was a witch, but you never know…she was a Taurus so regardless she was patient in playing the long game of capturing Henry for her own security. Being ruled by Venus with her Leo rising, she was destined to be in the spotlight whether she wished to be or not.

Henry accused Anne of being an adulterer, claiming she’d bedded at least five men including her OWN brother. On 2 May, she was arrested and put in the Tower of London. Anne was tried before a jury of her peers, including Henry Percy, her former betrothed, and her piece of shit uncle the Duke of Norfolk who was covering his own ass. She was convicted on 15 May and beheaded four days later.

While Catherine of Aragon was not beheaded after her divorce from Henry, she died from his actions all the same. Hers was a slow death brought on by terrible living conditions in exile

Ironically, Mary and Elizabeth I are considered more memorable than their father. Elizabeth having the longest Tudor reign and ensuring her father’s legacy the way he would have wanted particularly in world exploration and the arts. I often wonder what Mary and Elizabeth thought of it all.

Anne being a Taurus can certainly bring the Empress RX to mind. Her security was so important to her and it’s very clear she was an intellectual who adored creative pursuits. She was ahead of the times and her peers in many ways which got her in trouble. I do feel she is the most vilified of the Tudor queens.

The Devil card often floats to the forefront when I think of Anne. She is frequently misunderstood because she wasn’t afraid of her own ambition and desires. Henry certainly met his match for temper and wits. The 2 of Swords fits their dynamic well.

Next week, I’ll tackle Henry’s next two wives Jane Seymour and Anne of Cleves. VERY different personalities and stories!

Mercury RX DEAL FOR SUBSCRIBERS!!

If you are a subscriber, I am offering a deal off my FOCUS Tarot readings for the Retrograde! Simply book in my bio and put code word “TUDOR” in the description box and I’ll knock your reading down to $22 instead of $25.

Thanks for reading my work and letting me nerd out. ;)

Until next week-Cat